Stupidfool.org

Lots of Batali

I enjoyed this quote from Mario Batali in the press release about the new Iron Chef America: Supreme Cuisine video game:

"I'm delighted to be involved with Iron Chef America: Supreme Cuisine," said Chef Batali. "My video game counterpart is as passionate and competitive in the virtual Kitchen Stadium as I am in real life..."

Speaking of Batali, I made a batch of his Basic Tomato Sauce last weekend. It was satisfying work, and when it was over, I had around four cups of fantastic sauce, most of which I froze. I've used some of it already in making spaghetti and meatballs this week--they were wonderful.

And finally, you can watch Batali making the pasta sauce on this episode of Molto Mario, which even features special guest Michael Stipe:

Karting Under the Influence

Finally, a scientific look at the effects of drinking on driving (a Mario Kart, that is). (via Matt)

My verdict? I think the hypothesis needs more testing: "Coconut Mall", where I gather the tests were run, is a course where reckless driving might actually benefit the karter; but my guess is that such recklessness would actually be detrimental on e.g. "Wario's Gold Mine", or "Rainbow Road."

At the very least, it's probably worth another round of rigorous drinking testing.

"Oh, dogs are everywhere that I go..."

Reading Nelson's account of his hatred for his Nintendog reminded me of Mena's new habit of playing Nintendogs every day in the car on the way to work.

Mena bought the Chihuahua version of Nintendogs on December 31, so in addition to Trivial Pursuit, New Years Eve 2006 was marked by the rhythmic, repeated "Augie... Augie... Augie!... Augie", as Mena trained her new Sheltie puppy (named Augie, after her parents' Sheltie). This is the training process: you have to repeat the dog's name over, & over, & over again, until it will respond to commands.

In other words: if you think it's infuriating & repetitive to play the game, try listening to someone play the game. It's much, much worse.

And so the thing is: Mena's now got four dogs. Why so many? Because they're basically puppy prostitutes, working for money, & they can only turn 3 tricks per day, metaphorically (or, actually, quite literally—each dog can compete in only 3 competitions per day).

So Mena's invested her agility competition proceeds in a little army of dogs. Her first was Augie, the Sheltie; she's followed that with Binky, the terrier; Evita, the German Shepherd; and Baby, the King Charles Spaniel. & of course, in a very encouraging Hey-Let's-Get-A-Dog-Ourselves! way, she's quite tired of walking them, feeding them, & cleaning up after them.

Her dogs are, in turn:

• unable to catch a frisbee, because of pathetically short legs (Binky)
• aggressively useless (Evita)
• lethargic & depressed, & just lies around moping [1] (Augie)

Baby is the newest, & Mena's not yet tired of her, apparently.

& the best of all: last night Augie met Alaina's dog Rofl, which meeting unlocked the Shiba Inu puppies at the kennel in Mena's game. Hooray! Another begrudged puppy!

[1] Though apparently he's still quite good in agility competitions.

MASH is back! (again)

Until Anil reminded me of it today, I had forgotten about the version of MASH that Mena & I built a couple of years ago on a lark. The funny thing is that we had to shut it down within a month or so of posting about it, because our poor little server was getting slammed with traffic from LiveJournal users linking to it. Which is pretty ironic, or something.

• Let us decide between your 62,500 possible futures!
• Play with friends to see who can wind up with the best life!
• Make fun of your friends that wind up in a shack with 15 children, married to Ted Danson! [1]
• And for those who care about such things: View Source and marvel at the old-school web design!

[1] Or, as Mena did today, ignore the result where you end up married to me and living in a mansion in Paris, so that you can play again until you're married to Jon Stewart, even if you have to live in a shack. ("Well, it's not as boring!")

Why Grand Theft Auto: Vice City is the Greatest Game Ever

Anyone familiar with Grand Theft Auto: Vice City knows that it's a game with many modes of play (that's probably not the technical term): it's a driving simulator; it's a role-playing strategy game; it's an action shoot-em-up.

What it really is, I think, is a combination of all of these game structures. But the most interesting thing about VC is that, in creating its own alternate realistic world, it actually works on all of these multiple levels. Most games give you an escape from reality and are described as such--someone's had a bad day at work, so when he (and yes, I'll just be sexist and assume that in most cases it's "he") comes home he escapes into the heightened reality of his Playstation 2 console, blah blah blah.

The unique thing about Vice City is that it gives you an escape from the reality that it creates. If (when) I fail a mission, I can take out my frustration by driving around in a Ferrari listening to "More Than This," by entering in a rampage against gang members, by setting myself up in the parking garage with a sniper rifle, etc. Its multi-level reality, in other words, provides its own source of both frustration and relief.

Which isn't a revolutionary observation, I grant you, and I'm no gaming expert, so there are probably other games that qualify for the title of greatest ever; but I think it's why it's the only game that I could actually waste a weekend playing.