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"And when that blue heartache starts hurting..."

Track 8: Low, "Blue Christmas"

Jesus, this song is depressing. It's Christmas for the suicidal!

A cover of an old Elvis tune, but slower, sadder, & less joyful than any other Christmas song, ever. This is from Low's Christmas EP from a couple of years ago, which in and of itself is kind of an odd idea: having managed to depress their entire fanbase—or, at least, attracted an already-depressed set of fans—are Low trying to make every other Christmas-celebrating person miserable as well?

That said, their version of "Blue Christmas" sounds every bit as gorgeous & depressing as a Patsy Cline track like "I Fall to Pieces," but with that recognizable Low spirit, in that:

It's really pretty, which is good! But it makes you want to die, which is bad.

Buy Christmas.

"U R the 1 that makes my love shout..."

Track 7: Prince, "Another Lonely Christmas"

Wherein we hear the tale of our narrator's lover, who had the audacity 2 leave him [1] on Christmas day.

This was a b-side to "I Would Die 4 U" from Purple Rain, and it sounds like it, all the way down to that fading synthesizer at the end. It's a gorgeous ballad that's as big & melodramatic as, say, "Darling Nikki" or "The Beautiful Ones" (to name an applicable few). It's so good.

"Banana daiquiri," though?

Every Christmas night 4 7 years now
I drink banana daiquiris 'til I'm blind

I don't know if I'd've imagined Prince a banana dacquiri man.

Buy the The Hits/The B-Sides.

[1] Well... 2 die.

"All they could see was a girl holdin' a pistol on Claus..."

Track 6: De La Soul, "Millie Pulled a Pistol on Santa"

This is from De La Soul's second album, De La Soul is Dead, wherein they shocked fans & critics alike with their newer, darker themes.

Synopsis of this track: everyone loves Millie's father, Dylan (sp? maybe Dillon? Lyrics sites, consistency, please!).

He's the coolest dad EVAR, including the fact that he's a social worker helping out your narrator, and plus he's all dressing up in Santa suits at Macy's round Christmas time. And that's just cool [1].

But in reality, when Dylan gets home, he's molesting & beating Millie. And Millie, for her part, is getting damn fed up. And so finally, Millie gets a gun & takes some drastic action. Oh shit!

What happened to the fucking daisies, De La?

Buy De La Soul is Dead.

[1] I guess?

"This ain't no holiday..."

Track 5: Pixies, "Holiday Song"

You think you're going home for a nice, peaceful holiday with the family, and then...

Honestly, I don't know what Frank Black is on about half the time. And frankly, I don't even know if this song is about holidays, or Christmas.

It does appear to be about incest, for what it's worth, which—admittedly—isn't generally associated with Christmas. But I recognize that tone, Frank Black: you sound like someone fed up with your family. That family that's telling you that you're just not good enough, and asking you how you've disappointed them this year, &c.

Well, so, the message, from me to you: don't sleep with your sister, & don't let your family fuck up your holidays this year. Merry Christmas!

Buy Come on Pilgrim.

"Pause underneath the mistletoe leaf, and you're not here..."

Track 4: The Darkness, "Christmas Time (Don't Let the Bells End)"

Enough of the petulant whining about your daddy & your awful Christmas, Sufjan! Let's hear some fucking RAWK!

And, yes: The Darkness abide.

A Christmas tune by The Darkness makes perfect sense, because they're nothing if not the perfect pop band—sure, they happen to feature loud guitars, and dress in tight unitards like a hair metal band, but they're just pop artists at heart! This is sort of an amazingly bouncy power ballad, highlighting Justin Hawkin's amazing falsetto.

As an aside, I really love the domain name of The Darkness' web site: thedarknessrock.com. It's as if they want to quell any doubt: "Do The Darkness rock? Well, they must, because their website says they do!"

"In time the snow will rise..."

Track 3: Sufjan Stevens, "That Was the Worst Christmas Ever!"

Did you know that Sufjan Stevens has made 3 albums worth of Christmas music? It fits quite well—so well, in fact, that it's almost as if Christmas carols and Sufjan were made for each other: Christian + banjo + airy voice & harmonies = carolers!

But, whether or not you're annoyed by the idea of carolers showing up at your door singing, this is good stuff. And I'll bet you wouldn't mind Sufjan showing up outside your door in a Santa hat, would you?

"The smile on your face, a tear in your eye..."

Track 2: Orange Juice, "Holiday Hymn"

And now, for some indie pop from Scotland. No, not fucking Franz Ferdinand! Just the band that provided them inspiration for their entire dance-pop oeuvre! [1]

If you don't know Orange Juice: remember that song, "A Girl Like You", by a fellow named Edwyn Collins? It was quite popular in the mid-90s.

Well, anyway, Orange Juice were Edwyn's band in the late 70s/early 80s. They were—and are—critically acclaimed, but as is so often the case, not particularly popular in terms of record sales. And in fact, it's pretty much impossible to find their 2 first albums—"You Can't Hide Your Love Forever" and "Rip it Up"—anywhere.

"Holiday Hymn" is a cover of a Subway Sect song. It's from their (discarded) first album, Ostrich Courtyard, which was collected on the compilation The Glasgow School, released just this year, which also includes a bunch of their early singles.

This isn't my absolute favorite of their songs, but it's fairly representative: jangly guitars, somewhat wobbly & mournfully fey vocals.

Ah, those vocals. This review in the Guardian provides one of the best summaries ever of Edwyn's vocals:

Weaker tunes would certainly have buckled beneath Edwyn Collins' unique approach to vocals. A couple of months ago, the website where Grace Collins has courageously documented her husband's recovery from a cerebral haemorrhage reported that he had been singing again, adding that "his tuning needs working on". "Grace," one fan gently replied, "his tuning always did need work." In fact, you could spend all day throwing adjectives at Collins' voice on The Glasgow School and still not come up with a satisfactory description. Occasionally, he sounded like a Caledonian Bryan Ferry attempting to croon while balancing marbles on his tongue and stifling a fit of the giggles. Usually he sounded more peculiar than that.

Buy The Glasgow School.

[1] Though to their credit, FF do tend to admit it: they're basically the reason why The Glasgow School was released this year, because they're always promoting Orange Juice (or at least, the memory of same). Which is very sweet. Thanks, Alex Kapranos et al!

"Trying very hard to sin..."

Track 1: Sparks, "Thank God It's Not Christmas"

My opinion: this is the perfect start to any holiday mix.

I'm not taking credit for the brilliance, mind you—all of the credit goes to Ron and Russell Mael. But really: could you imagine anything more fun than these operatic vocals? More fitting—for the whole holiday season, & Christmas—than the somewhat troubled undertones of the lyrics against the immensely anthemic pop music?

No: this is perfect, in that really fucked up & weird way that Sparks perfected oh so long ago!

Buy Kimono My House.

And for something fun & bizarre, take a look at this photo shoot of Ron and Russell at the Louvre. Make sure to read the captions underneath the photos, like this:

An amateur artist is trying to reproduce Leonardo Da Vinci's Mona Lisa. The work is not so bad but Ron Mael has discovered what is wrong: The forger uses Cobalt blue instead of Prussian Blue. What a pitiful mistake!

Those crazy brothers!

Don't let the bells end!

For the past couple of years, I've made mix albums for my family [1]. But they've always just basically been collections of my favorite songs of the year. Which, while fine, always left something wanting: it is, after all, the holiday season, and what could better speak to the twisted & tangled emotions of said season than a holiday mix, full of songs about the holidays?

So, this year, that's what I've made. 10 songs, all about the holidays (or reminding me of them—you'll see, when we get there).

Charlie Brown christmas tree, as very obvious symbol of generally disenfranchised individual.

& because I'm a very lazy bastard, I'm going to write about them on this blog, and I'm going to spread them out into 10 separate posts. What better way to fill up 10 (+1) posts in December? After all, I've got a 4-month-old tradition of posting regularly to this blog, and I've got to keep that up!

I'm also going to be experimenting with posting MP3s of each of these songs. Based on my own experience—I read a ton of MP3 blogs, and the more I read, the more music I buy at proper music stores—this will only lead more people to buy these songs, rather than simply stealing them. [2] That said, I have a fairly conflicted internal relationship with posting music online, mainly because I don't know whether I'm a very representative sample w/r/t my music purchasing habits.

So, in other words: make me proud, people.

I'll start tomorrow, and I'll also keep this post updated with links to each of the tracks. Which are:

1. Sparks, "Thank God It's Not Christmas"
2. Orange Juice, "Holiday Hymn"
3. Sufjan Stevens, "That Was the Worst Christmas Ever!"
4. The Darkness, "Christmas Time (Don't Let the Bells End)"
5. Pixies, "Holiday Song"
6. De La Soul, "Millie Pulled a Pistol on Santa"
7. Prince, "Another Lonely Christmas"
8. Low, "Blue Christmas"
9. The Pogues, "Fairytale of New York"
10. Take That, "Back For Good"

[1] last year's, along with ruminations on same.

[2] I'll also be downsampling them to 96Kbps, which still generally gives a good-enough representation of the song, but without being CD quality. And maybe I'll delete them 10 minutes after posting them, just for fun.

Congratulations to U2 for another wholly unexpected GRAMMY nomination!

Krissy dissects this year's GRAMMY nominations, which are, frankly, as depressing as ever.

Not only are the albums & bands nominated as ridiculously boring & obvious as ever—it's almost as if they have a list of artists who they'll give GRAMMYs too, and they go down that list, saying "did he release anything this year? Nope. Did she release anything? Yep, she's nominated!"—but it's just all so fucking soulless.

It's as if they've taken music, squeezed all the life out of it, & then judged it on a set of computerized rules. Note that I'm not anti-computer, obviously. But music awards in general have always struck me as particularly useless—in fact, their only use for me is in finding things I may have missed during the year. For example, Stylus Magazine's Top 50 Singles of 2005 list, which contains a lot of stuff I've already got, and a lot I don't and would probably like. So that's interesting to me.

But when you take a set of awards like the GRAMMYs, which are geared at essentially making music recommendations for the most boring people in the world, that's just so very dull.

I mean, it's apparent just in their published criteria for the individual categories. For example, this note for a bunch of their "Best Album" awards:

(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)

Do they actually measure it, do you think?