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"... A new sheriff in town, in the world of hair" [1]

Okay, so American Idol tonight? The contestants can choose from any song in the 2000s—and what do these connoisseurs of fine modern pop choose? Creed, Tim McGraw, & a boring Beyoncé song. [2]

Now, so: I understand there are licensing issues, &c.

But seriously, what the fuck?

So, dear future—or current—Idol contestants, should this particular challenge week ever again rear its ugly head, here are some suggestions [3].

Annie, “Chewing Gum” (Listen)

(Or the Hey Willpower + Annie version thereof.) Perhaps not a particularly tough vocal, but still a nice combination of a sort of charm & sexuality. Kellie, perhaps, but it may be too far out of her country comfort zone.

Backstreet Boys, “Shape of my Heart” (Listen)

So, I know that Backstreet Boys specifically—& boy pop in general—aren’t exactly in vogue, but seriously: this is brilliant pop music, and I’d expect someone like Ace to be able to pull this off, synchronized camera pouts & all.

Eamon, “Fuck It” (Listen)

Now this: I could see Elliot just eating this up. It’s a novelty song, sure, but it’s got that wannabe-Stevie-but-angry-&-nasty thing going on.

Girls Aloud, “Biology” [4] (Listen)

It’s not a competition without Girls Aloud! Honestly, I don’t know who could do this justice. Maybe it’d have to be a group thing, like those strange group performances they do from time to time.

Jamie Lidell, “When I Come Back Around”

Taylor, I’m looking at you, you symbol of prematurely gray neo-soul! Plus, miming the keyboard solo would win anyone total points in my book.

Ms. Dynamite, “Dy-Na-Mi-Tee” (Listen)

Paris!

She’s my favorite, and while some of these picks are motivated by a sort of morbid curiosity, I would really, really like to hear Paris sing this.

Scissor Sisters, “Return to Oz” (Listen)

Now, this just might have the right sense of melodrama & bombast to win the crowd ever. If someone like Chris Daughtry were to sing it, it might elevate him from the sub-Stone Temple Pilots rut he’s got himself into now.

Will Young, “Leave Right Now”

Perhaps a bit of an obvious pick, considering his start in the pop business, but this is a top pop song.

& there’s so much more! Justin Timberlake; Shakira; Hey Willpower; Gwen Stefani; Robbie Williams; &c.

And I’ll just say this: if any contestant were to ever sing a chapter of R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet”, he/she would be my favorite vote forever, and I would probably be compelled to write some silly application that would vote a million times for that contestant. Or something.

[1] “But who wants to shoot the sheriff?” Oh, Blow Out.

[2] The only inspired choice was Katherine’s choice of Christina Aguilera’s “The Voice Within,” which was just okay in terms of her performance, but it’s hard to ruin that song.

[3] Though if last’s season’s butchering of Blu Cantrell’s “Hit ‘em Up Style (Oops)” is any indication, the idols-in-training aren’t exactly stellar w/ good pop songs, either.

[4] Well, really, part of the reason I included this song is just so I had an excuse to listen to it, again.

Thy Will! Not Mine! Be Done!

In the April 2006 issue of Details, there's an interview with Jonathan Antin.

And from that interview, I take this amazingly awesome quote:

Before peeling out, [Jonathan] extends his forearm to show me a huge tattoo, which is illegible on TV. "Thy Will. Not Mine. Be Done," he reads. Huh?

"'Thy Will! Not Mine! Be Done!' You're a writer! How could you not know what that means? It's the Lord's Prayer!" I inspect it again, still confused. "Oh, I just threw in the 'Not Mine' part," he says. "Makes it a little more impactful."

“... in honor of the void.”

I’ve discovered, after a difficult period of mostly fruitless analysis [1], that when I love a song’s lyrics, I love those lyrics for two very particular reasons:

1. because they use Proper Nouns;

2. because they use dialogue in an interesting way.

(&, well, also, because they’re funny.)

To wit: [2]

A Dangerous Woman Up To A Point once said —
“I’ve never read ‘so-and-so’ so why mention him here, in this square
where culprits axe me, my dear.
Tried to enjoy myself at the Society Ball, really I did.
Froze on Union Street, it was springtime, I was just a kid lost in a map
of the stars others called ‘your eyes.’
It was a trap!
It was a good time!
It was a hard to realize! ...

This is from Destroyer’s “A Dangerous Woman Up to a Point,” from Destroyer’s Rubies, which album is quickly becoming my favorite of 2006, by the way. [3] There are so many fucking brilliant sounds & words on this album, & it just gets better for me every time I listen.

Listen to “A Dangerous Woman Up to a Point”.

[1] Read, sitting around on the couch on a Sunday afternoon, quite happily lazy.

[2] See also: the Fiery Furnaces.

[3] Prior to the release—but after the inevitable leaks—I wrote about “Rubies” (i.e., the song, not the album).

Cutest dog evar!

Cute dog at the office

"Bien rica, bien chevere..."

I don't mean to be rude, but I think I may have just made the best tacos EVAR.

For the meat part: 3/4lb skirt steak, marinated in a mix of olive oil/2 cloves garlic/fresh lime juice/salt/pepper for 3-4 hours.

For the guacamole part (which I deem essential): 1 avocado well smashed up, 1/8 white onion, fresh lime juice/garlic powder/salt/pepper. Let sit for a couple of hours.

For the lovely spicy part (also essential): 1/8 white onion, 1 handful chopped cilantro, fresh lime juice, 1 clove garlic, salt/pepper.

Fry up the meat, warm up the corn tortillas, then fill w/ the meat, guacamole & spicy bits. Wonderful.

BTW, if you get hungry in the meantime, try this: pop a corn tortilla in the microwave for 20 seconds, and spread (the above) guacamole on it. Then eat it. It's really fucking good.

Oh, and also BTW: I made this a month or so ago with portobello mushrooms in addition to meat, just for fun. Same marinade, &c. Also quite good.

I've got so much to say ("tell us about it Green")

• SO disappointed! I feel as if I've wasted so many hours, now, for it all to have come down to Chloe. I would've been happy with either Santino or Daniel (as strange & bitchy as Daniel got towards the end of the show, I still liked him), but Chloe? I have nothing more to say.


• But through the despair... a ray of hope, coming March 21. How can they possibly follow up the amazing Season 2? Who will be this season's Scott/Brandon-level villain? How will Jonathan adjust to domestic life & parenthood? Are Jonathan and Sescie married yet? Is Jonathan still in therapy? So many questions!


• God, I fucking love Front Row. I love it most for its music-playing abilities, while hooked up to a television, & the way it shows off the album covers. I've been playing a playlist from a party a couple of months ago, & watching the beautiful album covers come across the screen is just mesmerizing.


• I finally bought Scritti Politti's Provision—the only Scritti album I didn't yet have—and am loving "Overnite". I can't get enough of Green Gartside ballads!

"All of the rumors keeping me grounded..."

Vauxhall and I

The other day I abruptly had the desire to listen to Morrissey's Vauxhall and I, which is by far my favorite of his solo records. It's so mellow, & calm, & almost at peace in a way.

It's also a really good album to listen to while sleeping on a plane, as I found when flying back from Japan the other day. I started out listening to I Am the Resurrection (the John Fahey tribute album), and was quite calm & peaceful, and then on about track 8 or so, there was this awful feedback noise that woke me up. I was sad.

So I put on Vauxhall and I, and all was again right with the world.