Stupidfool.org

Maddy in the chair

Ready to go home

People tell me I look like...

Grace-kelly

myheritage.com doesn't give me great results, sadly.

I tried three different photos of myself, and the site told me a different set of people each time, including: Mark Hamill, Lara Flynn Boyle, Glenn Close, Drew Barrymore, Freddie Mercury, and--my favorite--Grace Kelly (from my userpic).

I even got Ashley Olsen on one photo!

Dinner!

Food stuff

Or the start of it, at least.

I've got $10,000 and an hour

Here's what I'd do: I'd spend 30 minutes waffling between: shoving the money into a bank account; or buying a new television; or scheduling an expensive, blowout vacation to Mexico, or Hawaii, or Thailand, or somewhere exotic where it's hot, and there's water to swim in, and good food to eat; or going out to expensive restaurants and stuffing myself silly as many times as possible within the hour; or maybe, what I'd really enjoy is a trip to Europe at this time of year, or in a couple of months? &c.

Then, I'd spend the next 29 minutes regretting the decision I'd made in step one.

And then, I'd spend the final one minute spending around $50 on new headphones at Amazon to more fully enjoy the new Scritti Polittl album, White Bread Black Beer [1].

No: I don't like my answer, either.

[1] Which is incredible, by the way.

Small victories, or How I learned to shop at companies that hire people, not robots

A brief update to my last post: I went in to Best Buy again today (in person) to speak to the manager. Over the phone they'd offered me a floor model version of the television we had bought, for pretty much the same price as what we had paid for the new model—nice! So I headed in in person, and after talking with the manager for about a minute, realized that this was a futile exercise, and so I just returned the television that we'd never received in the first place. [1]

Contrast that with Costco, which is where we bought our original television more than a year ago. I've spared my tens of readers the drama that brought us to buying a new television in the first place—seriously, it would make an entertaining set of posts—but suffice to say that over the past three months, we've had our television for about two weeks. The rest of its time was spent at a completely ineffectual "authorized" repair shop & in discussions with Sharp (the maker of said television).

So finally, I happened to mention to Barak that we'd bought the television at Costco, and he said, just bring it back there and return it. I was quite skeptical, but here's the thing: I brought the television in to Costco today and spoke with two people (a rep handling returns and his manager), both extremely competent, and who gave me a full refund for the amount at which I'd originally bought the television (and this one year later!). All while juggling about five customers at once.

Which is really the point of it all: Costco—or at least, the warehouse I've been going to—has made a point of hiring people who can think, who are empowered to take action & make decisions, and who actually care (or, at least, do a great job at pretending) about customers. Best Buy, on the other hand, has hired—or perhaps trained—a set of mindless drones who could very well be robots for the amount of critical thinking that they possess and/or are allowed to perform.

So, with that, I refuse to shop at Best Buy ever again. And yes, I'm realistic enough to realize that they don't care—but then again, isn't that the problem in the first place?

[1] Of course, they couldn't resist fucking with me one last time: when I went over to get a refund for the television, the service representative handling returns told me that he couldn't refund me the money for the delivery, since that was a separate company. But I got my way, & my refund.

Best Buy hates you & wants you to die.

So I've just got off a 20-minute long phone call with Best Buy, and I feel as if I just have to write this down, because otherwise, it'd seem too unreal.

We bought a new television from Best Buy on Saturday [1], & we scheduled delivery of that television for Tuesday. Monday morning, the delivery people called & set up a delivery between 10:30 and 12:30 on Tuesday. Fine. Monday night, they called & said that they'd never received the television they were supposed to deliver from the store, so they'd not be able to make the delivery.

They urged me to call the store itself so as to discuss the matter.

Which I did, and wherein I spoke with an earnest fellow—the same one who'd sold me the television, even!—who said that he'd packed the television into the truck himself, and who couldn't understand why it wouldn't be at the delivery warehouse, & thus at my house, on Tuesday morning, as promised. But he said he'd look into it, and would call me back Tuesday.

Tuesday: no call.

Wednesday morning, I received a call from the delivery service, stating that they'd be delivering the television Thursday morning. “So you've received it from the store, then, have you?” I asked. “Well, not yet, so it'd be best if you check in with them,” was their answer. Promising!

So I called about ten times Wednesday, each time going through the phone tree to Home Theatre, and waiting as the phone call eventually timed out without answer. And tonight, at around 7:30pm, the delivery service called to say that “uh, we haven't received your television from the store, so we won't be delivering it tomorrow.” Shocking!

& which started a series of phone calls from myself to the store in question, most of which ended up with my waiting for someone to answer, or being transferred between 10 different on-floor representatives, none of whom who had the information I'd given to the previous one, or being put on hold for 15 minutes wherein I decided to try a different department just for the hell of it, and eventually got transferred back to Home Theatre. &c. [2]

One of the exchanges was really quite classic. I'd been on hold for about 10 minutes, listening to some awfully stressful music, and all of a sudden, I once again hear a ringtone, as I'd been taken off hold, and after about 6 rings, someone picks up:

Him: “Hello?”
Me: “Um, hi?”
Him: “Yeah, it's out of stock.”
Me: “What?”
Him: “We're out of stock on that item.”
Me: “What?”
Him: “Yeah, it's out of stock.”
Me: “But I already bought it!”
Him: “What?”
Me: “I bought it last Saturday.”
Him: “What?”
Me: “I already bought it, and you were supposed to deliver it on Tuesday, and you didn't, and then I received a call today that you'd be delivering it tomorrow, and then another call tonight that said it had never been received on the truck.” [3]
Him: “It was supposed to be delivered to you?”
Me: “Yes, I was supposed to receive the tv on Tuesday!”
Him: “Wait, a television?”
Me: “Um, what?”
Him: “Are you talking about a television?”
Me: “Yes...”
Him: “Oh, I thought you were asking about a walkie talkie. Uh, wrong line.”

At which point I began to silently die inside.

[1] This despite knowing from the internets that Best Buy, undoubtedly, Sucks.

[2] By the way, so this television: the previous weekend—before I bought the tv—I'd been in to a different Best Buy, where I inquired about this television. It's the new model of a television they already had in stock, and I asked—quite logically, I felt—“when will you be receiving the new model?”

To which the response: “oh, I don't think we're going to carry that model.” And the hapless fucker actually acted like he checked the computer—and who knows, maybe he even did—and then came back and said, “yeah, uh, doesn't look like we're ever going to carry that model.”

The punchline of which is: next week, when I went into a different Best Buy? Yes, they had that new model.

[3] This was, seriously, the 15th time I had described the situation, so I had refined my description to its essence in order to get it out in 5 seconds or less.

"Those other guys all wanna take me for a ride..."

I almost feel a complex sort of shame for admitting it, but I really, really like the new Paris Hilton single, "Stars Are Blind." (listen) I suppose I can feel a little better knowing that stereogum likes it, as well. [1]

Paris Hilton - Stars Are Blind

Fact it, it's good, 80s-style pop, with great (tending towards over-) production, & hints of Blondie & Gwen Stefani. And while it's not perfect--it starts to meander a bit towards the end, the bridge is lackluster, &c.--it's far, far better than I'd ever have expected from Ms. Paris Hilton.

In fact, I'd go so far as to say that it's quite fun!

[1] Though the comments there are quite fascinating, by the way. There are, I'm sure, people that genuinely dislike the song--well, okay. But there are also a lot of comments by people saying they'd like it if Gwen Stefani was singing it; that they think the song's okay, but aren't willing to give Paris any credit; &c.

Um, what? Since when is music, and perhaps pop music in particular, ever only about the artists? There are always producers, songwriters, sound technicians, &c. involved, and I find it completely bizarre that people are willing to overlook that when it's some group of indie rockers--or, worse yet, fucking Radiohead--but are unwilling to give Paris--along with her group of handlers, producers, songwriters, music agents, &c.--credit for creating a good pop song.

"Bros Before Hoes!"

I've decided that MTV shows are the perfect weekend fare: they're trashy; they're always playing in marathons, so they can easily take up an entire afternoon; they require about 5% of one's brainpower to actually understand what's going on; & once in a while, there's something really, really funny, like the line I just heard on "Next", said about some lame guy wearing a polo shirt with a popped collar: "Too bad those balloons weren't collars, cause then I bet you could've popped them."

But so let's also take, as an example, "Parental Control," which I watched a marathon of last weekend, and which may well be the most offensive & tragic show on television.

Charming.

The plot: the parents hate the girlfriend/boyfriend of their offspring, and want to find the son/daughter a new significant other. They interview about 20 potential suitors, and each (father & mother) selects one; the son/daughter then takes these new potentials out on a date for a couple of hours [1], while the current s.o. has to watch a video of the date along with the parents, with the parents insulting him/her the entire time. Fun!

And then, after the dates, the son/daughter has to choose between the current significant other & the two new people he/she dated. So cruel!

But not only that: I watched a marathon of "Parental Control" last weekend, and at least 50% of the time--probably closer to 75%--the son/daughter chooses one of the new suitors, rather than the current s.o. That's so fucking tragic, throwing away months/years of a relationship for someone you've dated for a couple of hours on a television show.

But then again, it's pretty entertaining! & the strangest thing is how stiff & scripted these shows are [2]: most of the time, it sounds as though the participants are reading off of cue cards, and not doing it particularly well. They're also very formulaic, albeit in a somewhat comforting way--e.g. in "Parental Control", for example, the son/daughter will always:

• describe how hard it's going to be to eliminate any of the three suitors;
• easily eliminate one of those suitors;
• say something good about each of the remaining two suitors (always the current s.o. plus one of the dates), then say something bad about each of them;

&c. It's almost as if MTV is engineering a race of stupid-but-pretty people just to participate in these shows. If only they could engineer them not to breed.

[1] In the standard MTV formula, as exemplified on e.g. "Date My Mom" : go to the beach, take some surfing lessons, grind a bit at a nightclub, then come back home.

[2] All of these shows, including "Next", "Parental Control", "Date My Mom", &c.  have the most scripted dialogue I've seen in a long time on television. Heard today, as an example: "She's not going to Next me, cause I'm 6-foot-2, laying down ".

What song makes you happy?

No matter what mood I'm in, playing "Biology" by Girls Aloud will make me so, so happy!

Girls Aloud - Biology

"... had a drink at my buddy’s old bar"

Wow, a really intricate meme, requiring a huge amount of concentration & focus. & but so I really enjoyed it! Anything re: music is fun, & it gives me a chance to experiment with formatting buttons.

Name your top 10 most played bands on iTunes:

1. The Go-Betweens
2. Scritti Politti
3. The Fiery Furnaces
4. Prince
5. Spoon
6. MC Solaar
7. The Clientele
8. Phoenix
9. Destroyer
10. Television

What was the first song you ever heard by 6?
"Nouvelle Western".

What is your favorite album of 2?

Anomie & Bonhomie

Anomie & Bonhomie.

What is your favorite lyric that 5 has sung?
Oh, I don't know. I really like "Anything You Want", so I suppose one'd be, "And if you and me's so right / Why's it the same thing every night?"

How many times have you seen 4 live?
Never. I'm really very sad about this.

What is your favorite song by 7?
"Since K Got Over Me".

What is a good memory you have involving the music of 10?
In Hawaii last summer, on the afternoon of the day in which I'd fallen off my bike and had to get 15 stitches on my chin, listening to my iPod Shuffle in the lobby of the hotel--open to the ocean, breeze flowing around, &c--and Television's "Carried Away" coming on randomly. That was nice.

Blueberry Boat

Is there a song of 3 that makes you sad?
"Birdie Brain", particularly the bit that goes, "I hate the aeroplane that nearly misses my birdie brain / That terrifies my terrier insane."

What is your favorite lyric that 2 has sung?
Probably something from "A Little Knowledge", because I'm a real sucker for the Scritti Politti ballads: "Got a little radio / Held to my body / I can feel your back beat, boy".

How did you get into 3?
I read about them on Fluxblog and first heard the single version of "We Got Back the Plague". I very quickly decided that I loved them, & bought Gallowsbird's Bark.

What was the first song you heard by 1?
"Spring Rain", from Liberty Belle and the Black Diamond Express.

What is your favorite song by 4?
"I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man", from Sign o' the Times.

How many times have you seen 9 live?
Once.

What is a good memory you have involving 2?
I bought my first Scritti Politti album a couple of years ago, in 2003. It was Cupid & Psyche '85, and I'd not really listened to it seriously until I took a drive down from San Francisco to San Jose to visit our datacenter at the time. It was about a 50-minute drive, and after listening to Electric Six on the way down, I put on Scritti Politti on the way back, & had an absolutely brilliant ride home. It was on that drive that I fell in love with "A Little Knowledge".

It's Never Been Like That

Is there a song of 8 that makes you sad?
Yes, "Consolation Prizes", from their new album, It's Never Been Like That. Though, frankly, it also makes me really fucking happy, at the same time, because it's just a perfect song.

What is your favorite album of 5?
A Series of Sneaks.

What is your favorite lyric that 3 has sung?
Well, this is a long one. From "Chief Inspector Blanchflower":

So I got both remotes and turned off the DVD
And said "Michael, is there something that you need to say to me?"
- "Well I don’t know how to tell you."
- "You can tell me anything that you want 'cept I started seeing Jenny."

- "I started seeing Jenny."
- "My Jenny?"
And he looked down at the floor.
- "You know damn well she ain't your Jenny no more."

What is your favorite song of 1?
So difficult! It's pretty much always from 16 Lovers Lane, but sometimes it's "You Can't Say No Forever"; sometimes it's "Dive For Your Memory"; &c.

What is your favorite song of 10?
"Marquee Moon".

How many times have you seen 8 live?
Never.

What is your favorite album of 1?
16 Lovers Lane.

Destroyer's Rubies

What is a great memory you have considering 9?
Hmm, nothing really comes to mind, in part because this is showing the bias that my last.fm/iTunes profile has towards music I've liked recently. Perhaps my best Destroyer memory is seeing them live, but that's really hardly a "memory," as it was only a couple of weeks ago.

What was the first song you heard by 8?
"Too Young", from United, but first heard in Lost in Translation.

What is your favorite cover by 2?
The only cover I can think of is the Scritti Politti/Shabba Ranks cover of the Beatles' "She's a Woman", so I suppose that is, by default, my favorite.